Is the thought of potty training your toddler a mixed bag of emotions – exciting, overwhelming, bittersweet…exhausting? We get it. Whether it’s your first time with a child at potting-training age or fifth time, you’re bound to face a challenge or two. But hang in there — you CAN do it, and so can your child!
If you’ve talked to friends and family, or searched the internet, you know there is no shortage of potty-training approaches. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), researchers haven’t identified a single “right way” to potty train. But this also means that there are several approaches, including the Child Oriented method and Azrin & Foxx’s method, that have been shown to work with many kids.
Regardless of which approach you choose, there are several evidence-based tips that may be helpful when you’re ready to give it a try. “Evidence-based” means that researchers have found that these tips have proven to work with many kids, but not all.
We’ve listed five big evidence-based tips to consider when you start thinking about potty training for your child.
Tip 1: Signs That Your Child is Ready to Potty Train
While every child is on their own developmental timeline, research suggests that most kids experience successful potty training between the ages of 27 to 32 months (between 2 and 3 years old.) It’s important to remember that every child is different; some will show an interest in learning to use the toilet earlier, and some may need to wait a bit longer.
So, how do you know when your child is ready to give it a try? It’s important that your child is both mentally and physically ready to start training. In fact, research shows that children who are forced to potty train when they are not ready actually take longer to fully train. Waiting until your child is ready and interested will benefit you both with faster success.
Some signs of potty-training readiness include:
Their diaper stays dry for longer in between changes.
They act uncomfortable when their diapers are soiled.
They can communicate when they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
They show an interest in the toilet or when others use the toilet.
They want to try wearing underwear instead of a diaper.
They can understand and follow easy instructions.
Note that your child will most likely not exhibit all of these signs, but if you notice a couple, it might be time! However, you should definitely consider waiting if your child is experiencing:
ongoing diarrhea or constipation or other bowel issues (see your pediatrician)
stress from recent life changes (e.g., new baby in the house, move to a new home, etc.)
a rebellious phase, as most children experience from time-to-time
Tip 2: Stay Positive and Patient
Children respond best to positive guidance and patience. Some parents find that although they thought their child showed signs of readiness to potty train, they don’t respond well. If that’s the case and you feel like there is no progress being made, It is ok to wait until your child shows more interest.
Offering positive guidance also helps your child understand that potty-training is a good thing. When they can recognize a need to go, it’s a great accomplishment and can be celebrated! Even if they don’t make it to the toilet in time, they felt the need to go and communicated it to you — that’s a step in the right direction. Be sure to show them that you’re proud of them for even the smallest accomplishments.
Tip 3: Talk About Using the Potty
According to experts, one of the most common mistakes parents make is doing and saying nothing until the week they begin potty training their child. A big part of potty training is actually introducing your child to the idea of it. This means helping them to understand and discover an interest in using the toilet. While it is one of the indicators of their readiness, an interest in potty-training won’t happen if your child doesn’t even know it exists.
If you’re comfortable with it, your child can observe you or a close family member using the bathroom. Just like watching parents or siblings brush their teeth or wash their hands, children often learn by example. Another way of learning by example is through pretend play — whether using a doll, stuffed animal or other toy, you can help your child by pretending that the toy needs to use the toilet and walking through the steps of the process (the feeling of needing to “go”, going to the bathroom, using the toilet, cleaning up and washing hands after.)
Books can also be a great way to spend time reading with your child while also talking about going to the potty. Books like, Everyone Poops and others about potty training, are fun and appropriate ways to explore the potty process.
Tip 4: Recognizing a Child’s Need to Go Potty
You can help your child learn about the feeling of needing to use the bathroom if you’re able to notice signs your child gives (even without realizing it) when they need to go. The most common signals are a sudden change in their facial expression and body movements or sounds they make. Help your child learn to understand what they’re feeling and how to communicate that with you by giving this feeling a name when you notice these signs. For example, “Do you need to go potty,” “Do you need to pee,” “Do you feel a poop coming?”
Once they understand that what you’re saying is related to what they’re feeling, they will have an easier time telling you about the feeling when it happens in the future. Soon enough, they will give both of you enough time between the feeling and getting to the bathroom to successfully avoid an accident!
Tip 5: Introduce a Potty Chair
Whether or not they learn to use it, a toddler potty chair can be helpful with explaining how to use a real toilet. Let your child sit on it (fully clothed is fine) and pretend to go. Encourage them to also pretend with their stuffed animals and dolls. The point is to give them a way to explore this new concept and get comfortable with this special chair so that when it comes to the “real deal,” it’s not a strange idea.
REMEMBER: Your Child is Uniquely Wonderful!
This means that they will be ready to potty train in their own time, and that’s OK! They simply need to know that they can trust you for some guidance, positive help, and most of all — patience.
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